my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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