No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I think my moral compass just broke
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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