theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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