i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
