I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Randomize
