one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
