So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
you will always have a special place in my vag
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
