yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
