"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
