i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
we made out on top of his cat.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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