You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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