well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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