I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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