wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
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