You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize