So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
