I think i peed on brittanys purse
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
