Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Randomize
