No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize