i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
