It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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