Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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