A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
