i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
pop tarts are not kleenex
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
