I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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