cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
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That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
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I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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