he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
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after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
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They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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