Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
40s are totally the cure
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
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