he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
that is very illegal...i love you.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
