I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
