your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
