i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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