How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
