she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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