I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
