he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize