You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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