he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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