The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
