An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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