I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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