you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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