Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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