A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
