no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
