we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
