so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
