Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
