Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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