I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
