The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I intend to get homeless drunk
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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