You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
