sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
