I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
