The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Two words: blizzard sex
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
