She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
