Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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