he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
