I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
