I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
