I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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