"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
